From my observation of what make a good relationship or what create happiness between two people who love themselves I realised "love is a powerful thing that if properly nurtured can create the most magical and desirous events of life". But how some people go from being loved by their partner to seeing their union as something that never should have existed is something of concern.

I am yet to see someone who goes into marriage hoping to get divorced or be unhappy in their relationship. It's never a thing planned for but it's however happening day after day. This big issue of unhappiness in relationship is something that always shoots out of the little things that were not paid attention to along the line or neglected. 

Among those things are the 5 critical ones which we are going to talk about today. So grab a sit and let's read on....

1. Not understanding the need and desires of one's partner.

Everyone has a need in relationship. They need something they desire from their partner. For women those things are: Attention, care, appreciation, touching all the time(not necessarily means sex), gifts from their husband, kindness, gentleness, commitment, empathy, compassion, emotional connection, SEXUAL FULFILLMENT (not  just sex, but being able to connect with their HUSBAND during sexual performance and able to enjoy the sexual act), trust, truthfulness,  encouragement, tenderness, LOVE, MONEY, SELFLESSNESS, support, not judging or blaming them (this is different from correcting in love), FAITHFULNESS, humour, prayer of their husband and Godly Act from their men.

For men those things are: RESPECT from their wives, support when things aren't going well for them, not emasculating them with your wealth and position as a woman, HUMILITY from their women, understanding, faithfulness, truthfulness, having their women praying for them in their presence, love, POWER, SEX, trust. 

One of the reasons couple aren't doing well with each other is not recognising these needs and meeting them. The only way an organisation in business can be successful is to be able to provide what their customers want. when we refuse to meet the needs of our partners there's bound to be issues as our partners won't see any need in meeting our demands from them either. But when we meet the needs of our partners there's bound to be reciprocity. I THEREFORE IMPLORE YOU TO LET SEX BE WITHIN THE CONFINE OF YOUR MARRIAGE ALONE. HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO'S NOT YOUR SPOUSE IS AN INVITATION TO TRIBULATIONS. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO HURT THOSE WHO BREAK THE RULES.

2. Lack Of Money in relationship.

Money is powerful. Money has emotion that is stronger than anything in this world and it's why some people are ready to kill for it. Money has been responsible for the largest cases of divorce in the world. Lack of money has taken lives of many people who weren't able to treat their heal health. lack of money has caused many women to defile their matrimonial bed by bring other men apart from their husband into their house to have illicit relationship with. lack of money is responsible for why some men abandoned their wives for some rich ladies and never look back. Lack of money can lead to depression which in turn can lead to misbehaving and losing love of of loved ones. MONEY IS VERY IMPORTANT IN RELATIONSHIP. But how can one solve the problem of lack of money? WE SHALL DISCUSS THAT IN OUR NEXT TOPIC.

 3. Imbalance power and authority.

What do I mean by imbalance and authority? This is a situation where the role and true status of an individual in a marriage is not recognised. The creator created a man as A LEADER OF THE FAMILY and not a GOD on the hearth. There's a God who rules over all of us. Therefore a man should learn how to lead his wife and children with his position and NOT RULE OR ABUSE THEM WITH HIS AUTHORITY. They need your guidance as a man, they need you to help them learn and be better in life rather than letting them feel less of themselves by making them feel you're better than them. As a man I want you to look into the mirror and tell me the image you see in the mirror is not your own. When you treat your spouse and children like they're nothing you're only telling them they're not part of you while in reality they're your reflection; what you give them is what they give back to the soociety.
And as a woman your position in the family is a participator and not a spectator. Expecting a man to do everything is like making him feel like he is alone. You're like an assistant captain of his team.A CAPTAIN WOULDN'T NEED AN ASSISTANCE IF HE OR SHE CAN DO IT ALONE.  A WOMAN SHOULD LEARN TO GIVE SUPPORT TO HER HUSBAND AND A MAN SHOULD GIVE ROOM FOR HIS WIFE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE AFFAIRS OF THE FAMILY AND NOT JUST RUN HER OVER LIKE SHE DOESN'T MATTER. When there's a balance everyone would feel a sense of belonging and recognition while the relationship between them gets better and stronger at the same time. A relationship filled with balance of roles always thrives.

 4. Lack of understanding of the temperament of one's partner.

At this point I want to recommend a book called "spirit controlled temperament OR why you act the way you act, by Tim LaHaYE" for us to read. Why do you need to understand the temperament of your spouse? The reason is so you may know how they are likely to behave and when you're aware of their traits it won't make you angry when they do behave in such a way. Lack of awareness of one's partner is a pit people always fall into. For example, there are "sanguine" people who are life of the party and are always point of attraction, they have the gift of being loved wherever they find themselves due to their disposition. But a man or woman who doesn't understand this might think their partner attends too much party or is too friendly to people. Knowing what your partner is capable of doing would develop your ability to manage your response to it when they exhibit such behaviour. A man who knows not what he is dealing with is likely to be frustrated when he sees what he has never expected. human being are complex and dynamic. And it's important to know that.

5. Lack Of self control.

A person with no self-control is like a car with no brake; he or she is bound for destruction. Not having self control will always bring unhappiness in relationship as the uncontrollable partner will always act in detriment of the other partner. A man or woman with no self-control can never be faithful to his wife. It's a fact of life that no one if infallible, but ability to control oneself is the fire proof that helps one not to get burned when the fire comes. Where there's no self control there can never be abstinence from temptation. If you want happiness in your relationship you should give chance to discipline and self control. this however has to be on both side. It only works when the two  people involved give into habit of self control. Lack of self control can tear not only relationship, but an individual apart. It can destroy life and destiny. A MAN/WOMAN WITH NO SELF CONTROL IS A TIMED BOMB; HE/SHE IS DANGEROUS TO HIM/HERSELF, HIS/HER PARTNER AND HIS/HER LOVED ONES.

Warning: Make sure you get those things listed above right in your relationship in order to avoid anarchy. Being happy in your relationship is one of things you need to expand in life. A happy life is a life in the right state of mind, and a life in the right state of mind is always a progressive life. Your emotional bell being has a role to play in not just your life, but also the lives of those who love you.

Therefore I beg you to make sure all those things that can kill your love life do not exist in your relationship. And if they are now please get rid of them because it's not too late to create happiness in your love life. So I pray....







Your's Truly,

Adebiyi Abraham.

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