'Dating A Married Man Rules'


Should I date a married man?




The world is changing and some things that once looked odd in the past are becoming a normal occurrence as days go by. Seeing a single woman in a relationship with a married man has happened for a long time, yet it is still an issue that raises an eyebrow in our current generation. Please read this article till the end to learn more about 'dating a married man rules'.



People all over the world consider it to be morally wrong for a single lady to have a romantic relationship with a person who is already married and see a married man chasing after a single lady as one who is not living right. However, the purpose of writing this article is not to pass judgement on anyone but to help people who find themselves in such situation to make a better decision through insightful knowledge I am going to share with you in this article.  



As a woman who might be in this situation asking 'should I date a married man' ?, before I give you my opinion on this issue, let me first of outline some scenes that always play out and what you should expect in a relationship between a married man and a single woman.

1. If you are in a relationship with a married man, it simply means you are destroying any form of happiness that could exist between such man and his wife. You are a source of pain for the wife the man has at home.

A married woman would never be happy to find out that her husband is having extramarital affair with another woman outside her, and this is always the beginning of the end for such a woman and her man. A married man who has a romantic relationship with another woman other than his wife has already broken his marital vow to his woman and thrown his marriage in danger, my question to you who are contemplating pitching your tent with such a man is: are you interested in being used as a home breaker by the devil? Answer Yes or No to yourself. 


2. Do not think a man who wants to abandon his marital vow and have a relationship with another lady will be faithful to this new lady. It is not a thing to expect. If a man could be unfaithful to his legal wife, do not expect him to be faithful to his illegal woman friend. As a woman who is fancied by a married man and also thinking of giving him a chance, let me ask you this: would you still be happy and fulfilled when he dumps you or showing an interest in another woman once he sees someone who is more beautiful than you? Answer Yes or No to yourself.

If a married man could approach you for a relationship, be rest assured that he would ask another woman out for a relationship once the fire he has with you is quenching.

3. If you intend to date a married man, it only means you want to waste your time and make no good use of your life.

A single lady who is dating a married man is wasting her time due to the fact that the possibility of having a lasting future with such man is zero. A man who leaves real his real wife for another woman has disrespected his wife and home and a man like that has no commitment to any woman. His desire is to satisfy his fantasy at the cost it might take even if that cost means unhappiness of his wife, when a single lady decides to date a married man and having a relationship with him, she's already taking her chance of finding a suitable single man off her own table because she sees herself as not single again but now in a relationship even though her relationship with the married man is unholy.  As a woman who has good aspirations in life, would you like your life to be played with and would you rather let someone waste your time and blow your chances of living a guilt-free life?


Answer yes or No to yourself. 

My Opinion.

Like I promised at the beginning of this article that I would share my own opinion after I must have outlined some points, the truth of the matter is that "dating a married man is not a thing that any woman should consider". If a married man remains married to his legal wife and still seeks a romantic or sexual relationship from outside his marriage, such a man is a walking danger that no woman should ever play with. So, as a woman who is asking herself 'what are the rules for dating a married man', my answer to you is: "saying no to dating a married man is the number one to infinity".  Do not date a married man because of your dignity. Let it be said that your life is very beautiful and important than to let it be dragged into a destructive situation.

You are too beautiful as a woman than to be handed the role of a home wrecker and a source of pain to another woman. If a married man insists on having a relationship with you, stand your ground and say no to him. Don't let them steal your joy and your dignity. Stay loved and blessed. 

As a single woman, if lasting happiness is your expectation in a relationship, please be aware that it does not exist in dating a married man.

Kindly like and share this article to bless others, and do not forget to ask any question you might have either in the comment section or send me a mail through:

I remain your humble one.

Abraham Adebiyi. 

'How to know if a man truly loves you and wants to marry you'




How to know if a man truly loves you



 Are you interested in 'how to know if a man loves you and wants to marry you'?  Then find out here...It is a desire of every woman to love and be loved, deeper than such desire is 'hoping to be wedded to the man whom she dearly loves'.


This feeling of spending one's forever with a loved one is a gesture that makes so many women wonder if the man they're currently in relationship with is actually going to end up spending the rest of his life with them as a loving partner.

So many things that cause these women to wonder such are the "sense of fulfillment that marrying a man they surrendered their heart to would bring to them", "the thrills of having babies with such cute man they're in relationship with", and "thought of knowing they have a partner to live the rest of their life with and do beautiful things together", or "just the fact that they are truly loved by man that deemed them worthy of being loved for the rest of his life". Whatever it is that makes a woman desires to get married to a certain man, it is often the source of worry and concern for her if the man in question is not showing any sign that gives her the rest of mind or assurance that he is going to marry her.


For a reason like is why I have decided to shed some light on this issue and truly help you understand 'how to know if a man truly loves you and wants to marry you'.

'How do you know if a man truly loves you and wants to marry you'?

The answer is what I am going to reveal to you here:

1.   "He would definitely introduce you to his Family as the woman he wants to marry".

Like popular musician, Michael Bolton said in his song : "when a man loves a woman, he can't keep his mind on nothing else, he'll trade the world for the good thing he's found"

This is a fact that so many women are not aware of ; if a man is in relationship with you and you don't know any of his family members and he is not making any effort to take you home,  my dear sister, that is a sign that you should not ignore. That is a pure red flag to on because it only means YOU ARE NOT IN HIS FUTURE PLAN. It doesn't matter how short or long the time you have known each other, if a man decides you are the one he wants, nothing would stop him from taking you home to know his people.



2.    If he is not discussing wedding and marriage plan with you even though he might have taken you home and he is financially stable and capable, He is not really sure he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. "Your relationship is still on trial".



3.   If he always tries to initiate breakup every time you both have misunderstanding, he is not really committed to marrying you in the future. 


When you have misunderstanding with your man and he is telling you that you people should break up because he can't resolve issues with you, he is simply giving you a sign and telling you that he does not have a plan for both of you which includes 'for better or for worse and happily ever after'.


The second verse of Michael Bolton's song says :

"When a man loves a woman, 


He spends his very last dime, 

Trying to hold on to what he needs

He'd give up all his comfort

Sleep out in the rain

If she said that's the way it ought to be".



Those words above simply mean that "a man who truly loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you will do anything to make sure that you don't break up no matter the challenge you go through in your relationship".

Having found out all these things, if you are experiencing any of the above listed situation in your relationship, this is the time for you to engage your inner woman: Abandon your emotions and call your intuition into play, call the man you are in relationship with for a serious discussion. Ask the person when and if you guys are ever going to get married and live together forever, from any response you get from that discussion, you should be able to know the right thing to do if you should still stay in that relationship or redefine your life and search for what you truly want in life.



If you feel this article has been helpful or useful to you, I endear you to please like it, comment on it and share it on different Internet platforms to help others, too.

Please feel free to share your problems with me and ask any question you want answer to. 

I remain your humble one,

Stay happy and stay loved!

Abraham Adebiyi

       'How To Overcome Failure In Life'

How To Overcome failure


Today I want to share with you "how to overcome failure in life". What I'm about to share with you is my own life experience please pay attention to all the details and READ EVERYTHING TILL THE END SO YOU CAN LEARN FROM IT. I just experienced failure and I want to share with you things I learned from it and how to overcome failure in life.

I started this blog in the year 2014 as a platform to share my contents with the world and I started with the name www.9jer.blogspot.com and people enjoy the things I post. Last year a friend advised me to sign up for advertisement on google so I can make money off my content. Though I didn't start the blog just to make money; I started the blog to impart lives and so people who visit the blog would be happy about what they read here.

After the advise of my friend to sign up for and I obliged but I was not approved by the people I applied with. While doing all these there was no one to put me through the blogging and everything I had been doing so I googled and read them online. When they rejected me then people said I should buy my own domain name maybe they would approve me.

So I bought the domain name and the blog became 9jer.com. After all these the advertising company still rejected me and told me to work on some things which I did and they finally approved me.

When they approved me I felt a sense of victory, that I am doing the right thing and I can achieve anything I want if I don't give up. I felt happy because it took me ONE year before they approved my account.

When I was happy that I can start showing ad on my blog then I realised I had done it the wrong way ; I registered through blogspot.com and not independently, this simply means I can't show advert on my own domain which is www.9jer.com until I reach certain stage.

So this means I have to go back to the beginning; back to 9jer.blogspot.com and start all over again until I reach certain stage before I can use 9jer.com to show advert. What are my failures in this and what are the lessons and how does it relate to what you might be going through at the moment and how can you overcome your own failure in life? Read on please..

MY FAILURES

1. I failed because I didn't meet the right people who have been doing what I intended to do before diving into it. I should have met someone who is a professional at doing this and tell them to teach me physically and not by just reading material online.

How does this relates to you?

If you've ever failed in anything you'd tried to do, you need to find people who are good in this area and ask them to teach you how to do what you want to do. Asking for help is not a weakness but a strength,  seeking knowledge on what you want to do will help you to overcome a past failure.



2. I failed because I didn't ask the right question before I dabbled into my new venture.

How does this relate to you? Maybe why you might have failed in any area is because you didn't ask the right question. The right questions are not general questions like how can I do this thing or what does it take to do this thing? The right question is something like 'what are the consequences if I do this thing the wrong way?' A question like this would always remind you why you need to do it right the first time and why you have to be patient while doing something so you don't lose anything in the process.

SO HOW CAN YOU OVERCOME IF YOU'VE ALREADY FAILED IN AN AREA BEFORE?

1. ALWAYS KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU FAILED DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE A FAILURE ; "YOU'RE ONLY A WORK IN PROGRESS.

If you never knew what it means to do something wrong you would never know how to do something right.

2. IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU HAVE FAILED, YOU'VE HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN IF THAT IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO; YOU CAN NOT QUIT JUST BECAUSE YOU FAILED".


Delay is not denial and a setback is never a set off but a set up for uncommon breakthrough. Many great people who are important in the world today would have so much to say if they decided to share with you how many times they failed before making it work. Abraham Lincoln,  Bill Gates,  and even the president of my great country would tell you so much about failure and they all succeeded at the end of the day.  'You're not a failure until you quit'. Only those who quit are failures.

3. YOU NEED A MENTOR SO YOU MUST SEEK ONE.

I have come to realise that we all need somebody to help us hold the ladder if we want to climb to the top in life and whoever is going to hold your ladder must be someone whose weight is larger than your's if you don't want to fall while trying to climb. Someone who has never been to where you're going is not the right person to give you advice about where you're going so you need a suitable mentor for your dreams and aspiration.

4. ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS FROM THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

Always ask questions that will benefit your cause and help you to achieve something before you do it.

5. NEVER BE AFRAID OF FAILING

Your mindset should see failure as something that moves you forward rather than something that brings you backward. 'When you learn from a mistake you become a master at doing things right'.

This last one should have come as the first but I don't want to sound religious so that I don't push you away. Your failure is just an experience and I want you to know that something good can never come easily.

5. YOU HAVE TO PRAY TO YOUR GOD TO HELP YOU SUCCEED.

Yes prayer is needed to turn a bad situation around for good. This world is govern by things we do not see and it would be unwise to just flip through life without being spiritually connected with our soul. To win a battle it starts from within you and if your weapon of spiritual warfare is not strapped up on your body the journey could be so tough.

Pray, work, be good to people, be honest, don't give up and never throw in the tower because I believe in you and I know you will succeed.

Thank you for taking your time to read it till the end. Please don't forget that the blog address is now www.9jer.blogspot.com for now and please always visit my blog. Thank you and God bless you.

please give me feedback regarding this article, I love to hear from you




Your past, your present, your future. Build a relationship that counts.... (Story Of My Life)

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOUR EX BACK AFTER HE/SHE HAS DUMPED YOU FOR SO LONG? READ THIS TILL THE END TO FIND OUT PLEASE.

This is my personal life I am willing to share so others could learn from.  I grew up with a decision that I will always be a nice and faithful man in relationship. That no matter how others treat me I'd hold firm to my virtue as a person and would not let anything change my decision. I have been so close to a powerful mother who single-handedly raised a reliable man out of a boy I was. May God bless my mother and all mothers who stand up for their children all around the world.

What do I mean by my past?

This represents the people I dated before I met my wife, I had dated four people before her and the past experience wasn't a good thing to talk about. Read on please....

The first person I dated left because she needed baby at that tender age of her and I wasn't ready for that as a 16 year-old boy. I didn't want to impregnate someone and not be able to take good care of my child. It wasn't my plan and her plan was having a baby at 16 so she walked away.

The second person cheated with a friend of mine when I travelled out of my state for some time and when I found out I ended it.

The third person was scared of committing to the relationship due to what people had done to her in the past so we parted amicably.

The fourth one walked away because her parents wouldn't accept her marrying someone from a tribe other than her's and she didn't want to give me  hope of a future together so she walked away, too.

WHERE AM I GOING WITH ALL THIS STORY? READ ON PLEASE....

 My present is my wife whom I'm with and building a great future together with now, and out of nowhere the first three people I dated are calling me to come back into my life. You're surprised too? please don't be.

These people had moved on with their lives and got married to different people with children but with reasons best known to them, the first two have separated from their husbands and the third one is about to do the same. They managed to get my phone numbers from my facebook page and began to beg me to take them back. BUT I AM A WISE MAN.

I HAVE A GOOD PRESENT, AND MY FUTURE CAN NEVER BE DESTROYED.

I know you want to know what I did to them. I blocked them and shut them down because I don't need my past. The reason is because I know what it means. It's a trap that devil always sets up for people when they reach their point of breakthrough. 

He'd try to use a familiar enemy(their past) to entice them by influencing their present in order to prevent them from having their desired future.

Please be wise my people. 'SOME PEOPLE ONLY BELONG IN YOUR JOURNEY AND NOT YOUR DESTINATION'. Who ever leaves you along the way can't be your destiny at the same time. 

GOD DOES NOT RECYCLE RELATIONSHIP. DON'T MAKE A MISTAKE OF THINKING SOMEONE WHO ONCE LEFT YOU CAN COME BACK AND NOT LEAVE YOU AGAIN,  YOU'D BE SHOCKED WHAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT CAN DESTROY IN OTHER PEOPLE.

WHEN YOUR PRESENT IS SWEET AND YOUR PAST SHOWS UP, YOU SHOULD KNOW IT'S DANGEROUS TO ALLOW THE PAST TO STAY.

DON'T EVER RECYCLE RELATIONSHIP.  LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU'RE SPECIAL AND NOT A REBOUND. 

Say bye bye to your past and let people in your past go with it. Embrace your present and create your dream future with it.

'STARVE YOUR PAST AND FEED YOUR FUTURE'.

STAY FOCUSED ON WHERE YOU'RE GOING IN LIFE AND NOT WHERE YOU'VE BEEN THAT DID NOT FAVOUR YOU. 

REACH FOR SOMETHING NEW AND LIVE YOUR LIFE LOOKING FORWARD INSTEAD OF BACKWARD. REJECT YOUR PAST, BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR PRESENT AND REACH FOR YOUR FUTURE.

 MAY GOD GIVE US HAPPINESS IN LIFE. 

End!


THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR GOOD IF YOU DO IT.




There's one thing that determines what your life becomes. Either good or otherwise it's just one thing that gives birth to destiny, and that thing is WHAT YOU BELIEVE.

what do you believe? Who are you? Can people know whom you are or do they need to ascribe you the kind of identity they deem fit for your life?

 Why some people whom others see as not up to standard could be successful in life is because of what those people who have been written off believe in. Be careful of judging people because you don't know what they believe in. God is so gracious that He equates belief to righteousness.

But the truth is it's sometimes hard to believe when you do not see things going well and this is the real plan of the enemy; to attack your belief system so you lose hope in yourself.
He knows that when you know whom you are, you will know whom you're not. But the moment you lose sight of your own identity and doesn't belief in yourself people would ascribe any identity to you even when that's not whom you are.

The predicament you might be going through at the moment doesn't define your identity,  therefore you have to look at any negative thing in your life today and tell it you're a liar!

Someone might have walked out from your life or taken a job away from you, yet this doesn't mean they can shut your life down.

WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS WHAT YOU BECOME. you must terminate every thought that brings damnation to your life. Purify your thought about yourself today; abort the negativity.
What you say to yourself matters a lot.  If you want to be great you must learn how to confess positive things to yourself. THE GREATNESS INSIDE YOU CANNOT BE BROUGHT OUTSIDE IF YOU'RE CONFESSING NEGATIVE THINGS TO YOURSELF.

If you want to be successful and be great in life you must deal with every form of negativity in your life and eliminate them. The reason is because you cannot overcome what you're not willing to confront.  

The  Neurologists say it takes about 21 days to get rid of an old habit and form a new one. That the moment you start confessing positive things to yourself, your subconscious mind begins to respond to it and pushes the negative things out of your mind.

'The poverty or any other problem you might be experiencing is a fight you have to win from inside of your mind before it can be erased from your outside world'.

If you believe that you're unlovable you'll always be unlovable. You may dress up nice, smell good and even smile all the time but you'll always be unlovable if that's your thought about yourself. This is because your life becomes what you rehearse in your mind.

Even when things aren't going well for you but you begin to say to yourself that things are good your body would react to those words and create atmosphere for your situation to get better.

More money, sex, cars, house or other material things cannot do it. Until you change the words in your head opportunities will continue to be far from you.

If you want a better life you must begin to walk with positive people and begin to say positive things to yourself at all time.

You can change your own story through the things you say to yourself. It's why bible says "the power of life and death is in the tongue". Your tongue and your thought can give life to your destiny if you get rid of negative things in your mind. YOU CAN BRING LIFE TO YOUR WORLD THROUGH YOUR WORDS.

It takes 21 days of repetitive positive confession to change inner narrative of yourself that even your frontal lobe begins to swell in order to remove every negativity that has been deposited in your mind, and reduces the swelling on your brain, reprogramming your mind and eases your stress. THIS MEANS THAT IT TAKES ONLY 21 DAYS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR BETTER THROUGH YOUR POSITIVE CONFESSION.

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 21 DAYS IS THROUGH WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND HOW YOU CONFESS WHAT YOU BELIEVE.

THERE CAN NEVER BE A POSITIVE CHANGE IN YOUR WORLD UNTIL THERE'S A POSITIVE CHANGE IN YOUR WORDS.

BEGINNING FROM TODAY, CONFESS POSITIVE THINGS TO YOURSELF EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY FOR 21 DAYS.  
IF YOU DO THIS, YOUR GENERATIONS TO COME WOULD BE GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR IT.

When it comes to play we should play, but when it comes to the truth we should tell it like it is.

I have never seen something people take for granted like dressing well. Just like it matters to dress well in the corporate world to attract the right opportunity is the the same when it comes to relationship.

As odd as it sounds it's a proven experiment I have conducted. People tend to judge what one could turn out to be just by the way they dress. If you still don't understand me let me make it simple for you.

FOR WOMEN:

Photo Credit: freedigitalphotos


REAL MEN DON'T LIKE THEIR WOMEN TO DRESS IN A WAY WHERE OTHER MEN COULD IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH HER.


Yes you heard me right, that's true. when it comes to choosing a woman to settle down with men have preference.  A player won't care what you wear or how you wear it when he needs somebody to toy with, but when he wants to settle down, he can never settle for someone who shares the view of her cleavage with everyone to see. Please do not get me wrong by thinking I'm judging or condemning anyone,  you could find a man even if you dress that way but how do you expect a man who keeps his pe**** (genital) in his pants and wants to live for his woman alone not to worry about it if his woman shows her cleavage for all to see? Think about that for a minute. Real men are often drawn to making women who dress smartly their wives instead of choosing ones who dress slutty. EVERY KING PREFERS HIS GIFT BEING WRAPPED BEFORE YOU HAND IT OVER TO HIM AND NOT NAKED. If the kind of man you want in life is a king and you want him to see you as a gift from God instead seeing you as a toy to play with you need to start preserving your body. A man is jealous in nature just like women are; he doesn't want another man to see the nakedness of his wife. I know there are some men who want to dress their ladies as prostitutes but when you see such man you should know he is not the right person who can settle down with one woman. Such man would only play with your body for as long as the game can last. Begin to dress well if you want to attract the right man. DRESS TO HAVE A MAN WHO WILL TAKE YOU IN ( make you his wife), and NOT FOR A MAN WHO WILL TAKE YOU OUT( use your body like a prostitute and dump you). 

When you're dressing it should be to look good, nice, beautiful, RESPECTFUL and not slutty. Let your way of dressing command respect for you. (THERE'S ONE TRUE THING I KNOW ABOUT MEN, 'THEY ALWAYS ADDRESS A LADY THE WAY THE LADY DRESSES UP HERSELF).


FOR MEN:



YOU CAN SAG YOUR TROUSERS AND EXPECT A LADY TO SEE YOU AS A MAN. NO!  SAGGING IS FOR THE BOYS.


Here's a truth every man should know about : when it comes to dressing there's one thing that matters to a woman, a woman wants you to dress in a way she can be proud of being seeing with you in public and not the other way round. GOOD SENSE OF DRESSING IS ALWAYS A TURN ON FOR EVERY LADY. 

You can't dress up and SAG your pants hoping a woman is going to like it. Haven't you wondered why ladies like it so much when a man dresses well? It's because it says so much about the class of people the man belongs to. Sagging is the way of prison. Why they sag in the prison is because they do not not allow them to use belt in order not to turn it to a weapon of fight among the inmates. 

 When you sag your pants women feel uncomfortable with that and it can affect your relationship with her. It can affect the way she perceives you and treat you, do you want to be treated as a man or as a boy? think about that. A man might have been in prison before but it doesn't mean he should continue to live outside the wall with his woman as if he is still in the prison. 

Take control of your dressing and don't let your dressing take control of you. If you want to be a respectable man then dress like one. You can't be showing off your butt in public while expecting your woman to feel good about it. IF YOU SAW YOUR WOMAN SHOWING OFF HER BUTT IN PUBLIC DUE TO INDECENT DRESSING WOULD YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT? That's something for you to ponder on!

Dressing well is necessary if you want a relationship where respect is the order of the day. You can't dress like a boy and expect a woman to see you like a man, and as a woman you can't dress like a prostitute and expect to have a faithful man put you in his home. The reasons you might have been complaining about your relationship could be because you attracted the wrong man into your love life due to the way you dressed when you were looking for somebody to settle down with. 'DRESSING SLUTTY IS NOT THE SAME AS DRESSING ATTRACTIVELY'. 

THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND AND LET THE WAY YOU DRESS BEGIN TO SHOW THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE ADDRESSED.

If this article has been useful to you or not please don't forget to let us know by submitting your comment when you clicking on 'post a comment' at the bottom of this article.





It has become important for us to address this issues called love and lust. 

Many a time people have misunderstood the concept of love for lust. What is love in the dictionary of some people?

To them love is "he likes my shape, she likes my height,  he likes my complexion,  she likes my swag and being suave,  he likes my hair style, she likes my accent and he loves me because I'm beautiful". Some even go to the extent of material things by saying "he buys me everything I want, he spends a lot on me, he gave me a new car, he took me on trip to Dubai and the Bahamas and sent me a diamond ring".

But my question is: Do all those things above guarantee that you're going to spend the rest of your lives together? I mean will he or she spend the rest of his/her life with you because of that? If so why are the millionaires of this world ending hp in divorce? Why are people who used to buy themselves expensive gifts during courtship are now paying a lot of money on Alimony and child support?

I thought they say "love is meant to last for ever" but why do we have generation of heavy spenders on relationship but runaways in marriage? At the expense of little provocation people throw in the towel. Then I'd hear them say  "I LOVE YOU BUT I CAN'T TAKE THIS FROM YOU IN MY LIFE". Please do not get me wrong by misunderstanding me. I'm not saying people shouldn't leave a relationship where their life is in danger but do you need to leave your partner because you do not think alike when it comes to issues of life?

Some people believe it's a woman's job to take care of the house while some think that's not the case in this 21st century,  some people believe it's a man's job to pay all the expenses bills of the family while some people believe the bills have to be shared between them and their partners. For these reasons people give up and quit because their partner is not working in line with their mindset or beliefs and not because the partner's behaviour is harmful or dangerous to them.

This has however been caused by lack of understanding between love and lust. You thought you fell in love and later fell out of love but not knowing that you fell in and out of lust.

LOVE IS A DECISION AND NOT JUST FEELINGS OR LIKENESS. IN AS MUCH AS YOU MUST HAVE FEELINGS AND LIKENESS FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT MAKES IT A LOVE IS HAVING DECISION TO STICK TO YOUR PARTNER NO MATTER THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TWO OF YOU. LOVE MEANS PATIENCE, AND IF YOU'RE NOT PATIENT WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE THEN THAT'S NOT LOVE AT ALL. 

LOVE MEANS TOLERANCE AND ACCOMMODATION. IF YOU CAN'T TOLERATE YOUR PARTNER OR GIVE ROOM FOR HIM/HER TO MAKE MISTAKES THEN THAT'S NOT LOVE AT ALL.

LOVE MEANS LONG SUFFERING OR ENDURANCE. SOMETIMES WHAT YOUR PARTNER NEEDS IS YOUR ENDURANCE TO OVERCOME A CHALLENGE TOGETHER BUT INSTEAD YOU'D RATHER QUIT THAN TO SUFFER TOGETHER WITH HIM. IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT THERE'S NO LOVE. 

Love means sometimes you need to endure pains as much as you enjoy life with your partner.

Love is sacrificial in nature. Sacrificial in the sense that sometimes you have to deny yourself some things in order to help your partner out. You might not be the problem in your relationship but your partner is and being there for that person, standing,  waiting and enduring things for your partner to be able to find him/herself again is a sacrifice you pay for love in life which makes people to live together for long. you can't live forever if you can't make sacrifices sometimes. 'IT IS NOT LOVE IF IT IS NOT SACRIFICIAL'. Loving someone sometimes requires no reason to do so, and you do not have any reason to love this person but you just love them and you'll stay with the person for the rest of your life.

You have to love not because of shape, facial look, beauty, hair style, height, complexion, intelligence or accent; your love must be borne out of decision to stay with the woman or man you have for the rest of your life. irrespective of their flaws, you stay and help them to work on it. or If you were in your partner's shoes, would you want him or her to give up on you?


IF GOD SHOULD HAVE A REASON TO LOVE US NONE OF US WOULD BE WORTHY OF HIS LOVE TODAY. YET HE LOVES US DESPITE ALL OUR SINS AND WRONG ACTIONS AGAINST HIM.

THIS IS WHAT LOVE MEANS. LOVE NEEDS NO REASON TO STAY WITH SOMEONE BUT IT STAYS. IF YOU NEED A REASON TO LOVE SOMEONE THEN THAT'S NOT TRUE LOVE. THEREFORE, LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL.

IF THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN USEFUL TO YOU OR NOT PLEASE LET US KNOW YOUR MIND BY CLICKING ON POST A COMMENT AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS ARTICLE TO POST YOUR COMMENT. 

Why do people change in relationship?  Let's find out.




This day is amazing that I give glory to God for it. Thanking Him for life He's given us and ability to love and be loved He gave to us.

I want to tell you something many people don't know anymore. Things they knew before but stopped knowing along the way. People fall in love because it's a good thing and the feelings one derives from it is second to none. But why do people fall out of love? Why do lovers become haters? People who once loved each other begins to behave like they never felt happy with themselves before. People who once saw each other as gold and diamond started seeing themselves as dust and mud. 

A lady once told me how sweet things were between her and her husband but now she can't understand why the man has changed. He doesn't look or behave like the man she fell in love with any more. Does this sound familiar to you? Have you ever been in this lady's position or is it happening to you at the moment? Are you the one whose partner felt has changed or is it your partner that has changed? Do you know people who are experiencing this at the moment? or do you feel there are people out there who might need this? Why not share this article with them through your social media accounts after reading it?

Let's continue our conversation.....

Have you felt you and your partner were both in love and just couldn't understand how it all went wrong? The answer is YOU BOTH STOPPED DOING THINGS YOU USED TO DO THAT MADE BOTH OF YOU FELT LOVED BY EACH OTHER IN THE BEGINNING. "YOU BECAME COMPLACENT, AND COMPLACENCY IS A KILLER OF LOVE".

You remember how you used to talk for long on the phone when you just met? You remember how you used to send her flowers and she would text you or write letters back to you? You remember those mid-night calls that made you feel like you couldn't live without each other? You know all those love songs you used to sing to her? You could still remember how you walked on the streets holding hands and smiling at each other? You know you were always going to pick her up at work because you couldn't let her use public transport on her way back home when you just met? All those fine sweet little notes you dropped in her bag to drive her crazy about your love for her? You know all those gifts you used to buy your man when you just met? How you were always calling each other up at work to check up on each other? Those were the things that made you feel happy and loved by one another.



But those things are gone now. You stopped doing them and the love began to die, every little thing you used to do became non relevant to you or either you got lost in the issues of life and everything just stopped the moment days began to count on your relationship.  This is why people feel they're not in love anymore. Loving someone is an action that requires constant effort, and those efforts you display are what make your partner feel important to you. Being complacent is the feeling of relaxation you display which makes you to put no effort into doing what you used to do to win your lovers heart in the beginning and if you want those things I call 'feelings of ages' (joyful feelings you used to have) to come back into your relationship and never depart from you, then you have to start all over again with those gestures you used to make. It's never too late to revive the fleeting joy in that relationship. BRING BACK THE TIME YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER. THAT TIME WHEN RESPONSIBILITIES OF MARRIAGE HAD NOT TAKEN OVER YOUR ROMANCE. THAT TIME WHEN IT WAS JUST YOU AND YOUR MAN BEFORE THE KINDS GOT INVOLVED. "IT'S A PROVEN RESEARCH THAT SPENDING 60 MINUTES IN CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE BEFORE BED TIME HELPS YOU TO SLEEP BETTER". So what are you waiting for? Why don't you start those things again? Do you have to stop wooing your partner because you now have him/her? must you stop calling her sweet, honey, angel, queen and begin to call her mummy Daniel just because you now have a baby? Do you need to stop calling him my King, My handsome, my Superstar and replace his pet name with your baby's name?It's amazing how people can be with someone they love and still feel lonely at the same time. The reason is not unknown and it's because they're not being wooed again.  Don't make someone you love to ever feel unloved. Never be with someone and still make them feel lonely.

Bring back the days of giving gifts and flowers. Bring back the days of singing love songs together. Bring back the days of calling to check how your partner's day is going. Bring back the days of writing 'I LOVE YOU' on a piece of paper and drop it in your partner's bag or pocket of their trousers pants. Bring back the days when you transfer some amount of money into the bank account of your lover without her asking for it, and if you can't do bank transfer drop the money in her bag.

All these things are the things you used to do that made her/him loved you crazy in the beginning. Those things are little things but they made all the difference in how you both felt, so I'd say 'bring back the days of little beginning'. Never ever grow matured I your relationship. You're both adults and grown people but your life will be much better if you live like children with yourselves.  There's a baby inside everyone no matter how grown they are and you and your partner should create this chance to live like two little children with yourselves.

WHAT DOES BEING LITTLE CHILDREN WITH YOURSELVES MEAN?

 Someone once said "a child would play with any child until you tell them not to do so".
Little children have no grudge against anybody, they do not know who is perfect or not to play with. They do not look for flaws in people before choosing whom to play with, so they play with everyone irrespective of their different skill set, colour or tribe. What I'm implying is that you should play with your partner with open mind. Allow them to be free with you and give room for his/her mistakes.  No one is perfect and everyone is a work-in-progress. So......

Bring back the joy in your relationship by start doing things you used to do that made your partner fell in love with you, and if you're doing that at the moment please don't stop doing it. REMEMBER THAT STAYING IN LOVE REQUIRES CONSTANT EFFORT TO CREATE A LOVING ENVIRONMENT, AND THE EFFORT WE PUT INTO LOVE IS NEVER A WASTED RESOURCE.

If you feel this article has been useful to you or not please let us know by dropping your comment below.

It's nice having you around and don't forget to read other articles we have on the blog.




There's a need for the women to understand the world of men. Men are people who have needs just like women but understanding this is where some women find things difficult. There's a thing that men don't like and I think women should know that.

What are these things men don't like? Let's keep the conversation going.


MEN DON'T LIKE TO BE LOVED JUST BECAUSE OF THEIR MONEY.


 Men don't like it when you love them just because of their money. They want you to love them for whom they are as a person and not because of their money. Loving a man because of his pocket is a no no. There's nothing that turns a man away from a woman like loving him just because of his money. When you love or intend to be in relationship with any man focus on his personality and not his pocket or wallet.

You will never have the true feelings or love of a man if he gets the signal that what you love about him is his money. If what you're after a man because of his money don't be surprised if he dumps you. Those who don't dump would use the woman in return when they find out they're being loved because of their money, and If you're loving a man, don't love him just because of his money but his personality.


MEN DON'T LIKE TO BE COMPARED WITH THEIR SUCCESSFUL FRIENDS WHO SEEM PERFECT TO YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THEIR FLAWS.


Don't compare your man with any man no matter what. The reason you think a man is more perfect than your man is because you haven't see the man behind the closed door. You've not seen that which makes you want to wonder how to cut off the weakness of that man. You only know the ideal self of the man and not his real self. IF GOD COULD SHOW YOU THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THAT PERSON WHO LOOKS PERFECT IN YOUR EYES, WOULD HE STILL LOOK PERFECT? NO MAN IS PERFECT BECAUSE WHAT LOOKS GOOD TO YOU IN THAT MAN IS WHAT ANOTHER WOMAN HAS CULTIVATED. CULTIVATE YOUR OWN MAN AND MAKE OTHER WOMEN FEEL JEALOUS OF YOU TOO. A man is competitive in nature and doesn't like to be told how he's not up to standard. 

There are ways you can call a man's attention to his deficiency without bruising his ego. Example is by telling him like this :' I know you're not perfect and I don't expect you to, but I'd be grateful to you if we work on this........area so that life and things can be better for us'. Never ask a man why he can't behave or live like his so so so friend. The reason is simple and it's because they were trained by different parents. If you try to compare a man to his friends who are doing well don't be surprised if he responds to you with anger.



MEN DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU HATE THEIR PARENTS.


No matter how much you love him and wants to be with him, if you do not like his parents you can't have his love. The only ground which can make a man not to have problem with you for hating his parents is if he has problems with his parents,  too. If you love your man you must learn how to love his people also. A man who knows you love his parents would do the same to you; he would love your parents like his own and always want the best for them too. A man always loves and wants to be there for his in-laws if he knows his woman loves his parents too. If you're wise try and develop a good relationship with your in-laws. If you do this you would even be so close to them to the extent that they would never want you to be far away from them while they take you like friends and not their daughter in-law. A wise woman builds her house is what my bible tells me. If you want your man to hate you try hate his parents.

MOST MEN LIKE WATCHING FOOTBALL AND DOESN'T WANT YOU TO STOP THEM


Men have strong nature for games and competition, while women are attention seekers in nature. This could generate conflict between a woman and her man if she doesn't know how to manage this difference between herself and her man. Some women see it as a disease when a man doesn't give them attention at that exact time they need it just because he can't do without watching his football match, this often makes them want to fix such man or point to him that he needs  a rehabilitation center to cure his football addiction, and there comes a recipe for disaster. You would be amazed when you hear how many homes something like this has brought problem to because they didn't know how to manage such situation. when a man is so bent on watching his game pick up a spot beside him instead of trying to get him not to watch the match. Participate in his hobby and don't judge him for liking it, you'd be surprised how much real attention you would get from him after you have participated and also allow him to enjoy his football game. 

Having learned all these about your man would it not be nice if you apply wisdom to manage your differences?

If you think this article has served you well enough or not please let us know your mind by dropping your comment below.

Thanks For Stopping by,  and don't forget to read other articles we have.

Your's truly,

Adebiyi Abraham.






She came to me crying with her eyes swollen. She felt it was too much to be happening to her. How did it happen? How could they have done that to her? She loved her like her sibling, she took care of her when life was hard and unbearable for her. Even when everyone around her left she stood and nurtured her like her own baby, yet she would never understand how the friend she loves the most among her friends would sneak behind her to sleep with her fiance and snatched her man right from under nose. Smh....

 This is story of a young woman I met at the conference not long ago.
 I looked at her as she narrated how it happened. It all started in their university days. Lola was dating a guy who was a working class while she was still a student he had promised to marry her and he was so nice to her.  Her fiance would visit her at the school and bring gifts for her. 

She was always coming to meet her fiance at the gate of their school WITH HER FRIEND BIOLA WHOM SHE LIKED SO SO MUCH. She would tell her fiance how good and nice her friend Biola is and tell her friend how wonderful and generous her fiance is to her. She was so innocent and couldn't see anything wrong in how her friend was always asking her questions about her fiance while she'd gladly tell him all there was to tell.

 The friend then became more friendly to the extent she would follow her to her fiance's house and place of work anytime she wanted to visit him. One day she was feeling sick and couldn't keep with the appointment of meeting with her fiance at his place of work to collect some amount of money he had promised to give her, she then pleaded with her friend to meet with her fiance in order to collect the money for her. Her friend didn't say no but got the money for her from her fiance. Unknown to her the when her friend was going to collect the money she wasn't just there to collect the money, She also dressed to the guy's place of work seductively with the purpose of being asked out by her friend's fiance. 

Her prayer was actually answered because the guy is also someone who lacks self control. He took the lady in his car to the ATM in order to withdraw the money but couldn't concentrate on his driving; instead he kept starring at the trap of a 'naked lap' been set for him by his fiancee's friend. He fell like a pack of cards and asked the lady out for a relationship in the process, that was when Lola's nightmare began.

Her fiance began to misbehave but she wouldn't understand what could have caused that. She tried her best to get an answer but wasn't given any. She cried so much and no one was there to comfort her, she later broke up the relationship as it became irreparable due to irreconcilable differences as some unreasonable quitters like to call it.  



Lola graduated from school and didn't have contact with her female friend until about one year later when she met her formal friend in the arms of her ex-fiance at the airport on her way out of the country. She couldn't believe what she saw, her past flashed right before her eyes and began to wonder how they became lovers, that was when her ex was arrested by his conscience and he began to beg Lola and asked her for forgiveness so he could live his life without guilt in his mind. Then he employed the tactics of 'blame it on the devil' which so many people are so familiar with. He said he was pushed by the devil to cheat on her the day she sent her friend to collect money from him on her behalf and that was how they started the relationship. 

But my Question is?


 What could Lola had done differently? Answers are below...

1. NEVER INVOLVE YOUR FRIENDS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 


Friends are a no-go area to get involved when it comes to your relationship. Separate your friendship with friends from your relationship with your spouse. I know you want to ask what if I have misunderstanding with my partner and I need friends to help us settle it? My answer is, If you need friends before you can solve problems between you and your partner, you are  not matured and ready enough to be in a relationship. If you think you know your friends wait till when you have misunderstanding with them. Some friends can't wait to abuse you in public with your dirty secret when they have problem with you. Some would use it against you just to make them feel like winners or more superior to you when you have problems with them.It's good to have the right friends who influence your life to become better, but this doesn't mean you have to put them at the middle of your love life. Draw an uncross-able line between your friends and your love life if you do not want to end up like Lola.


2. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE NICE PEOPLE AROUND YOU BUT 'KEEP THEIR NICE DEEDS TO YOURSELF'.

Even when you're tempted to do so, never broadcast the good deeds of your husband,  wife, fiance or fiancee. When you do this you create room for unguarded minds to fascinate about having what you have. When they know they can't attract what you command they'd have no option but go after what you have in life.


Having good friends are amazing, but no matter how good your friends are please don't get them involved in your love life. No human being is infallible (including your good friends) when temptation comes knocking at the door. Protect yourself against casualty of friendship by jealously keep your love life to yourself. When your journey with your spouse is good enjoy it, and when it's rough work on it but don't get any friend involved in your love life.


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